So many meds!

A quick update, because there’s not much going on at the moment.

I’m on Day 6 of Provera, and will be expecting my period around Day 12. I’m going back and forth with the IVF nurse, figuring out meds. This is the sheet that was sent to me in the mail:

It looks pretty hefty. Luckily, I’m used to the follistim and Ganirelix. I am a bit confused because I was told I am using Lupron, since I am at high risk for OHSS, but it wasn’t checked off on the sheet. I think it was a mistake. Also, I have no idea what the Vivelle dots are (estrogen patch, right? But what is that, and why do I need it?) And the HCG – I knew about the progesterone shots in the butt, but didn’t realize I’d be mixing up potions too. Whatever, there’s clearly more to learn before I start all of these, but it begins with follistim, and I’m an old pro there.

My husband and I have done some research and discussed how many embryos to put in at length. Our final decision is as follows: If it is a Day 3 transfer, we’re putting in 2. If it’s a Day 5 transfer, we’re going to make a game day decision. That decision will be based on how many high quality embryos we have total. If we’re going to be freezing say, at least 4 or 5 good embryos, then there’s absolutely no reason to put in 2 embryos, in our minds. We’re still young, and next cycle we’d be able to hopefully use a thawed embryo. So we’d only put in 1. If, however, we only have 2 embryos of good quality period, and would most likely have to go through the entire thing again next cycle, we’d put them both in. That’s the plan. I understand the risk of twins, and I also understand how challenging they can be, but what I didn’t like was having to choose. Really, seeing as how we’d both love to have twins but are perfectly happy with one as well, there’s no reason to make that final decision right now. It’s going to come down to our embryos. My gut feeling is that if we get to a Day 5 transfer, I am going to have a lot of eggs taken out, and probably at least 5 good ones (I hope). If that happens, we’re only putting in 1. So we’ll see.

I just wish that day would come already. My bitterness that has lingered and hung on for the last 5 or so months is slowly being pushed aside by hope. Hope is a dangerous little emotion..too much can do more damage than not enough. But IVF is the real deal – if this doesn’t work, I guess I’d be…really surprised. It might not work the first time, of course, but eventually..I hope IVF works. I really, really want this baby. My life is suspended, completely in limbo, and we’re really just going through the motions. So here’s hoping.

Secrets no more!

Well, I’ve finally done it. I’ve told the rest of the members of my family (and my in-laws) that I’m struggling with conceiving a child and therefore am getting medical assistance. There. I said it.

Most of my close family already knew – but there were a couple people I was holding out on. I was hoping my husband could jump in and help, because I have seemed to be tongue-tied for the last seven months, but he was definitely less assertive than I was. So that wasn’t going to work.

Finally, the other night, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hate this idea of carrying a personal secret that someone close to me, whom I trust, would want to know, and would be supportive about. Why keep it in? I didn’t give specifics, just that medication would be involved and I’d be starting in a few weeks.

Ever since then – I feel so much better. I have nothing to hide! Seriously! It’s out (not on Facebook….but out), and I just feel such relief. On Christmas, if the question comes up, I’m ready to deal with it. I’ve got my speech prepared.

Telling people about this was seriously the best thing I ever did, because I feel better.

Now, on to Clomid!! Three more Provera pills and I’ll hopefully get AF two days after that, like I did last time. That would put me right at Christmas – with the office closed. Oh well. As long as I’m calling on Monday and starting Clomid shortly after that, I’ll be happy. I’ll keep you updated!

And this is why I love blogging…

Even though I’ve just started Provera, and therefore am anticipating my period so I can finally start Clomid, the following poem sums up my thoughts right about now.

I’ve borrowed this from the original blog of 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility’s Facebook Page but I found it on the awesome blog of The Pursuit of Pregnancy. Feel free to share – I know many of you that would get a kick out of this!

‘Twas the night before your period and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring, not even your spouse.

The tampons were waiting in the bathroom with care,

in hopes that Aunt Flow would soon NOT be there.

Your future children were nestled, like dreams in your head,

while visions of cramps start to come before bed.

You’re sure you are pregnant, your breasts are so ripe,

you examine that toilet paper each time you wipe.

But you just might be pregnant, you have all the signs,

so why does this test never show those two lines?

And you cry on the floor until you are ill,

tomorrow you’ll refuse your prenatal pill.

“Come nausea, sore breasts, and frequent urination!”

“On weight gain, fatigue and then to lactation!”

We are getting impatient, our clocks start to tick,

but each month all we do is pee on that stick.

We know more about ovulation than our family doc,

so please fill our womb before our friends’ newborns can talk!

We thank all of our relatives for those sympathy hugs,

but we’ve spent our whole salary on fertility drugs.

Our spouse has more sex than his full teenage years,

but this time he’s not bragging to all of his peers.

So before our next cycle, lead us the fertile way,

Happy baby-making to all and keep periods at bay!

 

It’s Wednesday – Happy Hump Day! 🙂

#ProveraProblems

Actually, not really. Not yet. The only problem is that I had to take it in the first place!

I called my head nurse today, a week since getting my blood pregnancy test done. She must not have my folder when she talks to me on the phone because she can’t seem to remember anything. For example, “Did your husband have his semen analysis done yet?” Yes. Results were good – “outstanding” even. She said, “Outstanding?” with a laugh. Yes – YOU were the one who told me that! Then she said, did the doctor ask for blood work during the cycle? I said no – just that I’d start Clomid at the next cycle. “Okay,” she said, “but he didn’t write any of that down.” Now, just so everyone knows, this doctor and the others in his office come very highly recommended. I know many people that have used him, and with success. Apparently they just don’t write things down.

Anyway, finally, FINALLY I was given a prescription for Provera to jump-start my period. Of course, when I went to CVS an hour and a half later to pick it up, the good people at CVS hadn’t realized the prescription was left on their voicemail and I had to sit in the parking lot for 15 minutes while they filled it. Oh well. Tonight, I take my first pill. I’ve been through Provera before – it kicks my testosterone into overdrive, complete with hair above my lip that actually needs tweezing, and enough acne to make me feel like a 13-year old. But other than that it’s fine.

10 days of Provera + 2ish days until my period comes + 3 days into my new cycle = 15 days until my first day of Clomid!!! Woohoo! So let’s see – that’ll be around December 28th, as long as my period comes when I think it might. Merry Xmas to me.